I was recently concerned about and praying for a friend who has been struggling with depression lately, and oddly, in my class that very night, going over the papers and links I needed to check out was the link to this “Authentic Happiness” site. It actually has quick little tests you can take and see where you land on a number of strengths and weaknesses (I took a few of them, it was pretty interesting)… I remembered what my friend had texted me that day about how important happiness was to them, and it somehow struck a chord.
So, please – I will tell you what I told them – this is not a lecture to you, reader — I hope you know! This speaks to me just as much, but since it just happened to come up right when I was thinking about it (coincidentally – I don’t think so!) some thoughts on that…
I think “authentic” happiness has more to do with true JOY, on the inside, than happiness. Happiness is really dependent on our circumstances and emotions – and that’s why it’s up and down, and truthfully dangerous to depend on day to day. It’s always going to change, according to how we feel on any given day (and I think psychologists say we have an average of 90 ups and downs A DAY! – what the!), and be elusive. It’s like chasing our tail – we’ll never really, really get there.
There’s always going to be something to upset it, and mar it, and make it just out of our reach. There’s always going to be someone better, stronger, prettier, smarter than us to compare ourselves to, and someone who is mean, hurtful and even hateful who will mess with our head (even if they don’t even mean to do it deliberately) and make us feel bad and think less of ourselves. And sometimes, no matter what the heck we do with all our power, we will not make some people happy or change. It‘s really not in our power to do it. We can only be responsible for ourselves, and be our own change by how we learn to respond. Not easy, I know!
So we can’t base the goodness – or the badness – of our lives on happiness! It’s too wobbly and transitory. And we all know of people with MUCH worse circumstances, in poverty, sick, maybe even dying, who are amazingly joyful and have rich lives.
So, much of our joy is the deep down sense of knowing who we are, gratefulness, and having purpose and meaning for this life. Then, no matter what happens or how we feel, we have the settled knowing that it’s all going to be ok and life is good after all.
AND very short. That’s a perspective that I keep close to my heart these days — getting old, ha! Only got so much time – let’s make the best of it and use what God has given us!!
Ok… off my soap box now ~ love you! hope you can glean a little nugget from that and, as I hope to teach: Learn to flourish!
Katie Mahoney 