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Katie Mahoney

~ Learning to Flourish

Katie Mahoney

Monthly Archives: August 2013

Getting old and dirty railings

31 Saturday Aug 2013

Posted by katielifewise in Uncategorized

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Aging, aging gracefully, antiques, body image, full life, living life, self-worth

So you’re getting old? Great… That means you should be worth more than ever!

By the warailingy, I am so old that I actually had to stop in the middle of what I was doing, cleaning, so I could write this down or else I would never remember.

So here I was, outside scrubbing off all the dirt buildup in the crevices of my outdoor colonial style porch railings (which incidentally was not on my checklist for today… so of course I then immediately added it to my check list, and checked it off. This is very important because it makes you feel like you’ve accomplished more…like, combed my hair, check/ cross off).

Not entirely off the subject but, did those early colonial settlers from England have to make this intricate pattern for their porch rails? Couldn’t they have come up with something easier that we didn’t want to imitate 300 years later? Now I can see the relationship between English muffins and English architectural railings… Look at all those nooks and crannies. What were they thinking? You don’t even get to take advantage of them on railings, with amazing wells of melted butter pooled up ~ so what good are they? Hotbeds for green and black moldy stuff.

Anyway, back to my back-breaking work.  As I was cleaning off lots of dirt and grime in the crevices of the areas that were carved out and molded, it occurred to me that this actually looks sort of like “antiquing.” This is something we like to do to furniture and building designs to make them look more beautiful… You might pay a lot more for something that’s beautifully painted with antiquing in the crevices. My “new” kitchen cabinets have this.  Hmmmmmmm…

That’s weird. Something that 200 years ago they would’ve been out there cleaning and scrubbing away just like me (and trust me, this dirt and grime on my porch did not take 200 years to get there- I wish!) many, many years later we call a beautiful antique. And we try to re-create it too – on purpose.

I actually kind of love that. But why is it that we don’t feel the same way with human beings? As we get older with our beautiful lines and age spots IE: antiquing, WHY isn’t that considered more beautiful and more valuable?

I’m annoyed by this thought. Mostly because I’m getting all of those beautiful lines and age spots.  And, I do love my elders, in addition to being disgusted (ok, jealous) of Hollywood types who have all that expensive re-surfacing work to take away their antique look.

We have become a culture of youth worshippers, thinking we should never, ever actually get old looking.  In fact the worst part is that in many cases, our insides could be in terrible health and crumbling, and what is advertised to us in glossy print that we simply MUST have, is some life changing technique or cream to take away our surface lines.

Ladies and Gentlemen: we are going to get old. Feeling. Moving.  And yes, looking.  I know that 50 is the new 30, and 60 is the new 40 or 35, or freakin’ 25 or whatever. But it’s inevitable.  I don’t like it either, but why do we fight it so hard?… Is it because that’s what we are being taught and sold day in and day out?  Our worth is based on our ageless beauty and trying to keep up with the dewy skin of teenagers – who ironically have NO CLUE they have the amazing porcelain stuff –  for the rest of our lives?  It’s really stupid and non-sensical, but in our brave new world of fast everything, instant media exposure (and over-exposure) and constant voyeurism into the lives of the rich and famous, it’s the rules.

It shouldn’t be the rules.  I always knew this of course, but until you are “faced” (hehe) with it yourself, it might kind of elude you.  I’m much deeper now that my lines are deeper.  I have a greater understanding and true respect for my aging mother when I can clearly see myself in her struggle to remain independent and get around without falling.  It certainly doesn’t matter how she looks ~ she’s beautiful to me, from the inside out.  That’s what I want, and sometimes it seems aging gracefully is almost a lost art.

So in the end, since I’ve stumbled upon all this wisdom of how wonderfully valuable antiques are, why am I cleaning the dirt off? Why don’t I leave it for the antiquing look?… Somehow it doesn’t seem right for a porch to be genuinely scuffed, moldy and marred (unless you deliberately and permanently do some kind of crafty artwork to make it that way) when it was only built several years ago… It’s only good if the house was built in like 1782, even IF it’s been cleaned most years since then and the dirt and grime that looks rustically beautiful is probably from 1972. Or maybe even 1992.  Actually, make that last year.  It’s not fair, but that’s the rules. 

So then, did I do a really thorough job of cleaning every little corner? No, of course not. I want to preserve the integrity of my growing antique… I think I will just tell people that on this former Civil War battleground area, my house was the only one that was here, built in 1798.

Okay. So that probably won’t work. No, definitely.

But I could tell them that I salvaged this incredible railing from an antique house. There you go.  This is going to save me many years of cumulative work. Which is a good thing, seeing that I. am. getting. old.

Seriously ~ trapped in my little brain, I still feel like I’m 20 something, young at heart, exuberant about the future, passionate about life, with maybe just a pinch more of wisdom thrown in.  So, just like the railings, I’ve gotta take care of this shell that carries me 🙂 .

A Short Take on Love…

09 Friday Aug 2013

Posted by katielifewise in Uncategorized

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gratefulness, living life, love, love of family, Murphy's law, traffic

SHORTSdownload

“ In these bodies we will live,

In these bodies we will die,

Where you invest your Love,

You invest your life…”
                               Mumford & Sons

I smelled like a sweaty little boy who’s been outdoors running around the neighborhood all day, playing hard.  I don’t mean to sound sexist here, but it seems to me that little boys have a different “playing” chemistry. I know because, even though I only have daughters, I remember my brothers coming inside after a robust day of romping when I was little.  No offence guys, but like, ew.

When I left the house in the relative cool of the morning I had decided to take the vehicle that had the broken A/C as opposed to the air-conditioned stick shift.  I knew there was probably going to be traffic jams, so hating to have my foot on and off the clutch I made a choice. Whoops.  That heat index into the 100s escaped my calculations.  I often seem to be plagued by Murphy’s Law.

As I was driving on I-95 stuck in traffic, my heart was racing in the blistering heat, my little car fan turned up to the max blowing out hot air from the abyss. I questioned if that was really helping, as it pretty much felt like I had the heat on full blast.  But I figured some air moving was probably better than the sense of suffocating.  Now I know what my convection oven does.

My left arm was in the blazing sun from the open window on that side and I could see I was going to get sunburned as I traveled for the next hour, or two or three, who knew? Construction.  Orange cones.  Lots of trucks merging in.  And FRIDAY!

Luck was with me, however, because I had just been to get a bone density scan and these lovely little shorts they had me wear I had decided to keep.  I had said to the technician, “You’re just going to throw these out, right?  Is it ok if I take them?” she agreed they’d definitely be thrown away in that trash basket right in front of me.  I couldn’t see her face from the other room, but she was probably feeling sorry for me and shaking her head, with a “what the?” look.  I pulled the little accordion door open to the waiting area to see several women sitting there waiting, who comically stared up at me having heard my request (it’s in a tiny trailer – everyone hears everything! Who knew the previously empty waiting room was now full since I had finished?).

Don’t ask me why. I’m sure there would have been no use for them at home. You know, the kind made out of that crunchy blue disposable fabric used in Medical facilities? We women are well acquainted with them from our many humiliating GYN appointments.  So now, faced with a one arm farmer’s tan and more age/ sun spots which I religiously try to avoid adding since I have enough already, with some quick thinking I did what any self-respecting middle-aged woman would do… I put the useless pair of shorts on my arm…

I’m sure I looked like a loser to everyone who was driving around me.  I don’t know which was worse for my ego – moving along or sitting still.  If we got going at a good clip my wild unkempt hair and big sleeve were billowing out the open window in 90- something degree heat.  If we were going slow or hardly at all they could see my actual face (I tried to look all casual and cool… “Like really, I love the heat~  I’m doing this by choice!”)   Every lane I struggled to move over into of course became the slowest lane. You know. (Where is that Murphy dude… If I ever find him, I’ll…!)

I pondered as I rolled along, on the overwhelm I had been feeling – of all the things I needed and wanted to get done, and I remembered this little episode was just that.  Very little.  So many are hurting – deeply.  So many are truly suffering, and there is a lot of pain, sickness and tragic loss, not to mention those in the world who are literally just trying to survive.

I was, just barely, above the gale force winds coming in my window (ok so I’m exaggerating) listening to a Mumford & Sons CD to wile away the hours and these lyrics were sung.

“ In these bodies we will live,

in these bodies we will die,

where you invest your Love,

you invest your life…”

Wow.  I think I always kind of thought of it the other way – where you invest your life you invest your love.  But really what we’re investing – or should be – is our love.  That should come first.  That should be our motivating factor for everything we do.

I then remembered this amazing song by Sara Groves, “Without Love I am Nothing”.  It is a wonderful inspiration, as well as a jolting wake up call… If you are feeling a little frustrated with life and the overwhelm I invite you to take a listen to this song and be reminded of what’s really important.  We may not have everything the way we want in life, look perfect, and be doing it all right, but it’s our motivation that counts the most.  Listen to this as you read the rest…

Sara Groves – Without Love – YouTube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJoqSQG0D60

‎Love.  Love for people~  love for my family, friends, and those I try to help…love for the God I serve and want to follow in His ways the best I can.  And simply the love for life. We have so much!  And I know it.  What is your motivating factor?

I walked into the house and plopped myself down on the cool couch and dumped my scattered armful of disheveled items down next to me, including my makeshift sleeve pants….  Those goofy little things had really turned into a shelter and a blessing to me.

Relieved and grateful, I said with a true recognition of my riches, and the love in my life: “Lord, thank you for keeping me safe on that treacherous Murphy’s road.”

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